Le Sigh

WARNING: WHINING AHEAD (skip to the blue part if you're not interested)

You know when you feel like crying but you can't quite figure out why?  This has been my mood for like 2 weeks now and I can't seem to break it.  I feel so.. low.  I mean, I'm okay, I'm not having any disturbing thoughts, I just don't feel normal.  I guess it's not that big of a mystery it's probably just stupid hormone fluctuation garbage.  I am cramping again!  Ahhh!  In the last four weeks I had two periods with a week of terrible cramping in between and the second one being the worst period of my life, and now a week later I am cramping again.  I did not go through this after Norah was born, but this has to get better or I will surely die.

I'm not going to try and excuse my lack of blogging.  No one is reading them anyway except Chetney who is so sweet for reading, but being eaten alive by school right now.  I might pick it back up, but for now I'm just gonna write when I feel like it, maybe on topic, maybe not.

happier highlights.. baby #2 rolls over now and got her first tooth today :)

Make Something Monday #4

Today I spent most of the day cuddling a sick child and trying to cheer her up without neglecting the other one. I did manage to make these sweet doodles on a kid's app I downloaded for Norah.
Does that count? :)

Starting Stats Sunday :)

Not the best at commitment, but I'm working on it.  I had a rough week, I let physical and mental challenges I could not control effect decisions that I could have controlled.  And once I was feeling better I celebrated by doing things I wanted to do instead of things I needed to do.  But.. BUT.. I finally went to the gym! For the first time in almost 2 weeks.  And  I finally got on the LifeCenter machine that tells me all about my fatness and here's where I'm at:

Unfortunately my blood pressure is still above normal, even with medication. So I'm going to be focusing on that more than anything right now.  Healthy weight, diet, and exercise are the first recommendations for lowering blood pressure anyway.   But I know that focusing on reaching a certain number by a certain deadline does not work for me, it stresses me out, which leads to binges.  So I'm going to try something different this time and focus on behavior goals instead of results goals.  I'll still keep track of weight and measurements and I'll still celebrate milestones, but I'm only going to do it once a month, for now.  My next weigh in date will be the 1st of June.  I'll set weekly behavior goals between now and then and report my progress on Fridays. I'll have fitness and nutrition goals as well as goals to help me reduce stress and just be happier and healthier.

This Week's Goals:

 Measure and track everything I eat

 (track it even if I don't measure it).

Complete C25K Week 1.

Deep Clean and Organize my apartment.

Make Something Monday #3

I'm still in a little bit of a funk, but I know that no matter how stressed or sad I feel, painting always makes me feel better.  I wish that I could paint every single day and I hope that one day I'll be able to do just that.  I chose to paint today, nothing big, just a little 8x10 with some words from the wise Audrey Hepburn.  But as I painted I began to feel less tense and more.. happy :)

Final Exam in the morning!  Wish me luck!

Fit Friday #2

I skipped a day.  I'll make up for it next week with two Tasty Thursday posts.  Not feeling super fit today.  TMI AHEAD: I'll just go ahead and let y'all know since I know most anyone who reads this can relate or at least sympathize.. basically I started earlier this month, for the first time since Adeline was born, and then this week it decided it wasn't done yet, and this time it's worse.. way worse, the worst, ever. The evils of ladyhood have kept me in a cage of despair for most of the week.  Also Adeline is in a growth spurt which, for anyone who hasn't nursed a baby, equates to me being a boob-slave 10 times a day for 10-30 minutes.  Add to these two things my end-of-term projects and tests and I have just been.. overwhelmed and a bit grouchy.  I didn't want to blog because I knew it would come out whiny.. just like this blog is.  Anyway, I know it will get better but right now I just wanna be in a cave.

Happier notes:  I did have a lovely play date yesterday morning with two of my new local mom friends, we took  our girls (who are all less than a month apart) to Jump Zone which is an indoor bounce house/inflatables place.  The girls had a great time and I got to talk to grown-ups and thankfully I got to sit down almost the whole time so I wasn't terribly uncomfortable.  I took Adeline to the doctor today, she's growing perfectly and the doctor said it's okay if I want to start giving her baby cereal (so maybe I can free-up the boobies a little more).  Here's a cute video of her laughing to make up for my grouchy/sad blog post:

Wordless Wednesday #2

Tuesday's Tunes #2

So I ended up rescheduling my final for next Tuesday because I knew taking it today would have resulted in tears. I have been feeling a little low today. A personal issue that I am embarrassed to talk about has kept me out of the gym for a few days but l'm still watching my calories. I felt the urge to binge today to make myself feel better, even though I know it would only make me feel worse. Thankfully I didn't have any junk food in the house. I did clean today which gives me an emotional feeling similar to exercise. I have to force myself to start and I kind of hate it until I get a good momentum going and then I get in the zone and feel awesome and love how I feel when I finish. Here are some songs I listened to while cleaning today:

Tequila- the champs
Nothin better to do- Leann rimes
Warm heart of Africa - the very best
Leavin- Jesse McCartney
Blessed- Brett dennan

Brett Dennan always cheers me up "blessed is this life and I'm gonna celebrate being alive" :)